Loser News

Who doesn’t remember the hit series Love American Style?!? Every Monday night, huge stars like Burt Convy, Rich Little, Tina Louise, and Charles Nelson Riley would waltz across our 13 inch black and white with one hilarious vignette after another. With such titilating titles as “Love and the Lovesick Sailor” and “Love and the Naked Stranger”, LAS (as we call it in the LASFAN chatroom) brushed innocently against America’s sexuality like the rope in gym class.

Now, many of you may not know it, but there were several episodes that never aired due to the Nazi-esque restrictions of the Federal Communications Commission. And even to this day, the FCC refuses to release such sheltered shorts as; “Love and the Dead Heroine Addict” (starring Telly Savalis) and “Love and the Enraged Pimp” (starring J.J. from Good Times).

These episodic masterpieces will never be viewed until we break the wrist-reddening grip of the American Government’s censorship. And that’s why I’m voting for Aaron Spelling as National Dictator. Thank you.