Loser News

I am totally way tired today.  I think there's something in the water.  I've been doing research into my diet, and have cut out hazardous chemicals, dyes, and hydrogenated oils.  But then I realized that water is just hydrogenated oxygen, so its probably all filled with trans fats and other hazardous chemicals.  No wonder I feel like hammered poo.

And while we're on the subject of water, I'm pretty sure we have agua in this country's water supply.  I always thought that agua was only found on the south side of the Rio Grande, and that the northern side was water (I'm pretty sure they have a barrier in the middle so the two won't get all mixed up), but it seems that some of the agua has somehow gotten into our American water. 

I contacted my local INS department and they had NO idea what I was talking about.  Sure, we're pretty close to the Canadian border here, so they have their hands full dealing with the illegals from Ontario, but still.  This is our national water supply!  Heck, my kids even drink it sometimes when we run out of soda.

Needless to say, I'm going to do something about this when I'm not so tired.  Until then, I'm going to give that glass of water a pass no matter how refreshing it might look, and I'm probably going to be a little more careful around the pooper.