Loser News

A deviant supermassive black hole has baffled scientists after it was spotted ‘flashing’ them from across the galaxy. Astronomer’s say they’ve never witnessed anything quite as disgusting in space, though astronaut, Suni Williams, says she’s seen worse.

”Butch (fellow astronaut, Barry ‘Butch’ Wilmore) is a straight-up pig,” she advised.  “It’s like he doesn’t even own a pair of pants!”

Still, scientists had been intrigued by the cellestial phenomenon, known as 1ES 1927+654, since a remarkable event in 2018, when its corona suddenly vanished before reappearing months later.

The gravitational anomaly has a mass equivalent to a million of our suns and is located in a galaxy approximately 100 million miles away.

”Or in layman terms,” explained Megan Masterson, a graduate student in physics at MIT who helped lead the discovery explained, “it’s really really big and really really far away.”

Over the past two years, scientists have observed flashes emanating from the black hole at an increasingly rapid pace. The interval between flashes has shortened dramatically from once every 18 minutes to once every 7 minutes.

”We’re pretty sure it’s counting down to something,” Masterson continued.  “We figure it’s either to an alien invasion or season 5 of Stranger Things.”