Abner Pooterman, A.K.A. “D.J. Huggy-Poote”, a 23 year old convenience store clerk at the Shell station near the junior college has reportedly contracted the Coronavirus.
Pooterman is the first left-handed white rapper between the ages of 19 & 25 who lives with his parents to test positive for the disease, shaking the foundations of the twenty-something, urban Caucasian, basement-dwelling, ethnic music community.
“Yo dawg! ‘Dis be whack”, remarked fellow white rapper, Irving “Deth Skwad” Weinstein. “Huggy be on it, then this Corn thing come along an he gotta ditch his gigs. Dis’ kwazy wit’ a capital ‘Z’, dawg!”
Pooterman took to Twitter to bolster the spirits of fellow “whappers” and fans:
@PootHug23: “Ain’t no virus gonna stop me telling it real wit’ my dope beats, yo!”
“If he succumbs, he’d be the first left-handed white rapper between the ages of 19 & 25 who lives with his parents to die from COVID-19”, explained Tracy “Ice Tre’ Coonrad, founder of Honky Town Records, “which would be a huge boost for our genre.
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