Boo-yah, sports fans! Scott Finley’s back with another installment of Loser Sports, and this weekend all eyes are on the NBA…providing those eyes belong to NBA players and their baby-mamas.
Yes, All-Star Weekend 2017 is back to reinforce the belief that putting a ball through metal ring suspended 10′ from the ground is a valuable skill. The festivities, originally slated for Charlotte, but later moved to New Orleans for vaginal reasons, start with the Rookie-Freshman game, where two groups of scrappy kids, each making less that $5 million a year, play their little hearts out for a simple love of the game.
Next comes the high flying Dunk Contest that keeps the fans and white players enthralled. After that, the 3-Point Contest heats up, giving the fans and players that can’t score outside of the paint time to use the head or buy some snacks before the mother of all celebrations of pointless athletic elitism, the NBA All Star Game.
Watch as your kids’ favorite players spend 48 minutes doing what they do best; shooting, scoring, dunking, whining, flopping, screaming, stamping, weeping, and high-fiving special needs children and Jay-Z. And if that’s not enough self-adulating narcissism for you, stay tuned next week as we cover the 89th Annual Socialist D-Bag Thespo Awards.
Boo-yah!!
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