Loser News

WASHINGTON, D.C.-The First Lady received an early Christmas suprise when Sunny, the Obamas’ new canine family member, viciously attacked her and a young Whitehouse visitor during the yearly Christmas Tree lighting ceremony. Numerous guests witnessed the incident, including a group of Asian KKK members and the usual multicultural group of disinterested children.

Sunny, a Portugeuse Water Dog who arrived at the White House in August, was originally intended to serve as a companion to First Dog, Bo Obama, but since nobody liked her, was locked in the basement with the President’s mother until mistakenly released during the ceremony.

Secret Service agents were caught off guard by the attack which allowed Sunny to unleash her rage on a visiting two year old, as well.

“We taught her to attack white people to keep Joe (Biden) out of the house”, The First Lady admitted. “Luckily, orphans can’t sue.”