Loser News

Earlier today, President Barack Obama announced that he will sign the Affordable Attorney Act into law later this week.

“I believe quality, affordable legal representation that we can rely on is a key part of bolstering the middle-class,” he remarked from the White House Rose Garden. “By putting a stop to exorbitant attorney fees, Obamalaw ensures that all Americans are able to afford shysters and ambulance chasers, and continue to engage in frivolous lawsuits and pointless litigation.”

“What the hell,” exclaimed lawyer, Michelle Obama. “I leave that idiot alone for ten minutes and he steps right in it!”

She wasn’t the President’s only detractor.

“This is an outrage,” attorney and US Senator, Harry Reid, shouted as he led hundreds of nationally elected politicians in a march around the Burger King on Florida Ave in downtown Washington, DC. “That guy should be sent back to whatever commie country he came from!!”

Supporters say that the Affordable Attorney Act will hold law firms accountable, putting an end to the worst abuses, such as fraud and hooker murder. In fact, reports suggest that many women will no longer have to sleep with their attorneys to get effective legal representation. Unfortunately, most men will.

In any case, it has the country disinterested.