Loser News

Just as California math scores had begun to rise, the Democratic National Convention arrived and stamped its flat, fetid, government assisted foot on the festivities.

While overseeing a vote among Democratic delegates, Los Angeles Mayor, Antonio Villaraigosa, mistook a 53% negative vote for a 2/3 positive vote, which allowed the words “God” and “Jerusalem” into the Democratic National Vocabulary.

Prior to his gaff, Los Angeles Unified School District students’ performance in math had gone up 2 percentage points from last year.

“In less than a decade we went from having only about one student in three score as proficient to having one student out of two”, said Paul Hefner, a spokesman for the California Department of Education. “Now this happens.

“Admittedly, he has some difficulty with decimal to fraction conversion”, advised a spokesperson from the office of the mildly disabled Mayor. “But we do have him enrolled at the Sylvan Learning Center and are optimistic about his progress.”

“Mi math…no bueno,” Villaraigosa remarked later during a CNN interview.