Loser News

In international news, the Concurso De Feos, a stupid tradition from the people who brought you bull fighting, took place in Bilbao (not to be confused with Scott Baio or Bilbo Baggins), Spain yesterday.

Also known as the Spanish Ugly Competition, this event evidently pits children and the elderly against fat bald men in an effort to produce the most hideous facial manifestation within Spain’s lenient “Ugly Citizen” laws.

The rules of the competition range slightly from town to town, but the core tenants for Concurso de Feos are:

• 1) Contestants may use both hands and one foot to manipulate their facial features,
• 2) No hot chicks may participate, and
• 3)Everyone over seventy must wear pants.

(It should also be mentioned that sticking one’s tongue in one’s nostril is grounds for disqualification.)

At the end of the day, most Spaniards were not suprised to hear that the three time reigning champion,”La Vaca Hinchada” was this year’s victor as well.