Loser News

Dear Toby Keith,

Hey my man!! I went to your bar and grill in Cucamonga last night and your tequila was crap! That fat girl in the tight shorts and boots said it was Cuervo but it was probably some TJ Swann brand crap. You suck Toby!! And the tater skins sucked too and you spell tater “t-a-t-o-r” you red neck white trash douche. I poured my cup of border chili on them and they still tasted like somebody crapped on a picece of tree bark and poured Tipatio on it. You suck Toby keith! And the rest of your menu sucks too. I had that fried pickle plate and puked in my mouth three times before I got the whole thing down. And that beer for my horses song sounds like a weird al version of an eagles song, you fat turd. I guess you got bored with crapping on music so you figured youd just crap on a sesame seed bun and call it a restaurant. Thanks for the diarrhea idiot! You suck Toby Keith. You sucK!!  Send me a t-shirt!!!

Sincerely,

Gus Jablonski