Loser News

LOS ANGELES-Three hours after the discovery of Rodney King’s body at the bottom of a swimming pool, Rev. Al Sharpton has implicated George Zimmerman and former L.A. detective, Mark Fuhrman, in the death.

King, who’s beating at the hands of police officers in 1991 sparked racial violence in the Los Angeles area, was found, submerged, at 5:25 AM this morning by his girlfriend of several days.

“I have seen the Fat Albert episode where the football goes into the drainage pipe and the only one that can get it is Peewee,” Sharpton explained at a press conference, “which is why this whole thing reeks of foul play.” 

When asked to clarify his statement, Sharpton grew agitated.

“It is obvious that Mark Fuhrman used his authority as a retired police officer to have George Zimmerman released for one night, fly him to Los Angeles on a secret Air Force space plane, drown Rodney King, and return him to his cell before the morning meal”, he explained.  “Maybe if I talked in spic or chink you people could understand me better.”

Later, the Reverend apologized for his comments.  “I’d just like to say I’m sorry to any spics and chinks that may have been offended by my earlier remarks.”