Loser News

WASHINGTON (AP) — The White House voiced regrets Wednesday for newly published photographs that purport to show U.S. troops posing with the bodies of dead insurgents in Afghanistan.  Defense Secretary Leon Panetta called them a violation of America’s “core values.”

“My apology is on behalf of the Department of Defense and the U.S. government,” Panetta told a news conference following a NATO meeting in Brussels. “The Army’s ‘DAPP’ or Dead Afghani Picture Policy, dictates that each soldier may only pose for one picture after each battle, and may only have two corpses on either side of them for said photo. Clearly,” he continued, “some members of our armed forces chose to ignore these regulations.”

At the White House, President Barack Obama’s chief spokesman, Jay Carney, echoed Panetta’s comments, saying the incident was “reprehensible.”

“In some pictures all you can see is a foot, or somebody’s semi-charred leg.” he conveyed with disgust.  “It’s a stain on the lapel of the entire US photography community, and it’s just plain lazy.”

It was the latest in a series of recent Afghan battlefield embarrassments for the United States;

• In January, US Marines were found to have made a video of themselves urinating on Afghan corpses, completely disregarding combat sanitation regulations.  
  
• In February, violent protest broke out when Americans burned several Qurans, rather than blowing them up with car bombs as is local practice. 
  
• And last month, a U.S. soldier left his base and allegedly killed 17 civilians villagers, mainly women and children, prompting similar, but considerably less intense protests throughout the Afghan community. 

A statement by U.S. Ambassador to Afghanistan Ryan C. Crocker and White House spokesman Jay Carney also condemned the behavior.

“Such actions are morally repugnant, dishonor the sacrifices of hundreds of thousands of U.S. soldiers and civilians who have served with distinction in Afghanistan, and do not represent the core values of the United States or our military, which include supporting and funding organizations that rip unborn children out of their mothers’ wombs and dump them into those red bio-hazard baggies so they don’t infect our landfills.”