Loser News

Yowza and hubba-hubba! Did you know the words “Pashtun” and “Pontoon” were different?!? Lo es verdad!

See, Pashtuns, also known as Ethnic Afghans, are typically characterized by their usage of the Pashto language and practice of Pashtunwali, which is a traditional set of ethics guiding individual and communal conduct.

Likewise pontoons are flotation devices with buoyancy sufficient to float themselves as well as a heavy load, such as Oprah. Unlike Pashtuns, pontoons have no religious preference, but drift toward Scientology as do most inanimate objects like Tom Cruise.

It should be noted that Pashtuns can ride on pontoons, but to attempt the alternative may cause spine curvature and hip dysplasia.