Loser News

Dear Donna, 

I hate all of you and wish you were dead! You’ve ruined my life!! I’ve already deleted my avatar from World of Warcraft and am running away to Forks, Washington where I can live my existence in peace. 

Maybe, if you would have let me go to the midnight showing of Breaking Dawn with Willow Nightshade (Dillon’s little sister) none of this would have happened. You’re just like the Volturi!!

Tell Dad I’m sorry I wasn’t a better bowler, like I even care. And tell grandpa I hate him! And that none of this would have happened if he hadn’t made fun of my make-up!!

But you must share the blame for crushing my soul, Donna. Maybe things will be different with your “perfect” daughter and you won’t destroy her life, too! 

Eternally Tormented,

Draven (Mitch) Von Cullen