Loser News

Three members of mall/ dollar store/ miniature golf course/ Super Cuts gang, The Dans have splintered off to form the Dans Triad.

“Yo! It be’s what we was meant to be’s,”advised Dans leader, Running Dan Reis (a.k.a. “Truss Phunn”). “Them other guys was weak an’ we had to cut ’em loose,” he continued, referring to previous gang affiliates; T-Bikes, T-Rav, Huggy-Poot, and Mudd-Phlap. “Now it jus’ be me, T-roy, an’ B-B Gaps!”

The remaining Dans had mixed feelings about the break.

“I guess it’s okay,” interim gang leader, T-Bikes Depp remarked. “I was having trouble with my quints anyway, and I can never remember the gang signs.”

Loose cannon, Frank “Huggy-Poot” Reynolds was less diplomatic. “If those fags want to go off by themselves, let ’em. Fags.”

The remaing Dan’s trio participated in a recent rumble with a group of retirees which spectators dubbed, The Dumbatholon. They came in third.