Loser News

Celebrity sleaze-ball, Jerry Springer, announced today that he would, in fact, be having Oprah’s baby.  

“If it’s a girl,” Oprah commented, “we’re naming her Ellen O’Donnell Winfringer!”

“And if it’s a boy,” added Springer, “we’re calling him Anti-Christ, or A.C. for short.”

When asked whether this was just a publicity stunt, they both gave a disturbingly unison “yes”.

“Anything to boost ratings,” Jerry continued, beaming at his trollish concubine.

The mutant offspring of the talk-show twosome is due to be hatched on Christmas day as an overt attack on Christian values, family ideals, and President Hoover.

When advised that Hoover was no longer in office, Winfrey retorted, “Exactly!!”