Jillackers, but I’m steamed! The other night I was watching America’s Got Talent with that hilarious Nick Cannon, and suddenly realized that Hasselhoff had been replaced by that bald-headed, obsessive compulsive spaz, Howie Mandel.
As if we wouldn’t notice! I totally had it figured out by episode three. Then I was watching that news show, TMZ, and they started dissing (short for discussing) David Hasselhoff’s most recent drunken diatribe. Hey TMZ, he’s a superstar!! You don’t seem to care that rock legend Bret Michaels is addicted to insulin, but just because the Hoff gets slightly inebriated and takes his clothes off at his daughter’s birthday party, you blow it all out of proportion. Double standard much?!?
And while we’re on the subject, lay off Mel Gibson. Don’t you realize the hardships he’s faced over the years? Wearing a skirt in a war movie, trying to teach Chris Rock to act, or just coming all the way from Australia, learning our language, and affecting a pseudo-British accent for the post-apocalyptic masterpiece, Bird On A Wire.
No wonder he freebases Liquid Drano and caffeine-free Diet Coke!!
Loser News 
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