Loser News

Hey everybody!! It’s me, Ted, author of Kill or Eat Leaves, The Joy Of Killin’, and best selling fictional title, Summertime at Camp Carotid.  Well, as you know, its youth water fowl season, and ole’ Ted’s itchin’ to kill something.  Unfortunately, ole Ted’s too old to participate…or is he?

Though it often confuses me when I talk about myself in the third person, this time that synaptic cerebral overload led to the best idea Ted has…I mean, I have ever had (if you don’t include Warp Speed).  I’ll  become a youth!  

All I have to do is shave my beard (and back for good measure) wear my hat backward and let my pants sag so you can see my underwear.  Then I just say something stupid, like “Word” or “Dawg” and I’m totally in!

Plus, I’m totally  going to win that Jr. Biggest Bird Award if I have to yank the stuffed spur-winged goose off the mantle and launch it into the air with bottle rockets.  Happy killin’ everybody!