Loser News

Wilma Lou Harris (80) of Sabina, OH, told reporters today that she had been accosted by beloved Disney character, Donald Duck, in June of 1939.

“I didn’t tell nobody at the time cuz he was such a big star,” Harris related while holding a picture of a seashell to her ear. “Now I see he was just trying to break up me and Goofy.”

Staff at the Shady Acres Retirement Village where Harris resides are skeptical.  “I don’t think she’s ever been to Disneyland,” remarked Ian James, head custodian of Lazy Acres, “and Goofy’s not even a real person.”

However, James recanted after receiving a call from Rosie O’Donell’s lawyer.