Loser News

Hey all you Homies and G’s!! What do you get when three average pimps are struck by a meteor and get super-cosmic powers!?! You get ABC Family’s newest afternoon action show, Jus’ Pimpin’.

“Pimps have gotten a bad rap for years”, remarked Brenda Hampton, the show’s executive producer. “We just want to bring this often misunderstood career choice into a new light.”

The Jonas Brothers play Shabazz, Tyrevius, and Lemonjello, a mild mannered trio of leisure brokers who unwittingly become the world’s last defense against the invading hordes of Plutarkia.

“I play Tyrevius who has super ‘Bling’ powers”, related Joe Jonas (i.e., the tall one). “Shabazz has a boomerang kufi and Lemonjello is a master of martial arts. Specifically, Ho-Slap.”

Already ABC Family has received some negative press, saying that the content of the program may not be appropriate for younger viewers, and that it closely parallels Hong Kong Phooey.

“They said the same thing about Shaq and the Super Lakers“, Hampton replied, adopting an urban pose, “and look how successful that was.”