Loser News

Chief or the Galactic Science Prolateriate, Dr. Kgmurgph Smegdk’kg warned fellow Morrapheians against making contact with astro-physicist, Stephen Hawking.

“Hawking most likely exists,” Smedgk’kg advised interviewers, “but our attempts to contact him could have catastrophic results.”

Divian Overseer, Quough Lamperion agreed, flaring his gills with agitation.  “Let’s not forget what happened when the Ya’Karians duped us into abducting L. Ron Hubbard.  I thought we’d never get get rid of the smell.”

The warning comes on the heels of Discovery Channel’s season premiere of Ice Road Lobster Ax Men, starring and narrated by Mike Rowe.

“We only have to look at the iCarly Awards Special,” continued Dr. Smegdk’kg, “to see how intelligent life might develop into something we wouldn’t want to meet.”