Loser News

Glacial volcano, Eyjafjallajökull, erupted earlier this week after two hobbits mistook it for the fabled Mount Doom. Authorities say the duo threw a ring and a small humanoid into the molten rock below causing the mountain to explode and flood the countryside in a wave of fiery death.

“I knew we shouldn’t have cut back those Nazgul patrol,” observed Icelandic Prime Minister and severe hottie, Jóhanna Sigurðardóttir. “Damned economy.”

This is the second eruption in as many months and authorities still have no clues as to the hobbits’ identities.

“The duo was seen running from a cave on the side of the volcano following the eruption,” reported Ragna Árnadóttir, Minister of Justice and Ecclesiastical Affairs.  “Shortly thereafter, they were picked up and carried over the Misty Mountains by giant eagles.”