Loser News

Boo-Yah, sports fans!! Scott Finley here with another installment of Losers’ Sports.

That’s right, tonight we face the dreaded hordes of UNI! And even though nobody knows where Iowa is (not to mention northern Iowa), we shall defeat them all the same!

I totally took my cestus to work today and have been waving it around the office, quoting lines from 300, and totally freaking out my secretary…I mean Administrative Assistant. And even though the Warden suggested I go home early, I’ll remain, for this is where we hold them! This is where we fight! This is where they die!..at least until 4:00, when the fell portal to portal issues force me on and thus.

Yet, this night I shall sit astride my sectional, alone (for my offspring do fear my wrath, and my queen says I get “poopy” when I watch sports) and witness the violent demise of the evil usurpers known as the UNI…Purply Cats, or whatever they call themselves.

My prediction, 300-2 (I figure that big white kid will get a lay-up).  Booyah!!