Loser News

MIAMI – Shaun White landed in Miami early Thursday, drawing gasps from the crowd nearly three weeks after launching the gravity-defying new trick called “Coast 2 Coast”.

“I put down the tricks I’ve worked so hard on,” said White, who was pushed to perfect his newest move after losing out in a competition to compatriot Danny Davis.

Finn Peetu Piiroinen won the silver medal, 3.4 points behind White and Scott Lago of the United States took the bronze.

“It’s impossible to beat Shaun these days unless he fails. Cripes, he jumped an entire country.  That’s almost twice as far as any of us can jump,” said Piiroinen, who came the closest of anyone to the high-flying American with his own triple twisting flips. “I’m stoked with the silver today.”

VANCOUVER-Eight American missionaries freed by a Haitian judge defended their Olympic snowboarding halfpipe titles on Wednesday.

Just after dusk in Vancouver, the bedraggled, sweat-stained group of eight walked off the mountain, escorted by U.S. diplomats. They waited until they were safely inside a white embassy van before some flashed smiles and gave a thumbs up to reporters.

Silas Thompson, 19, of Twin Falls, Idaho, plopped into the back seat, breathing heavily and beaming with relief. He’d accompanied his father Paul, a pastor, on the mission to kidnap kids in Haiti and then half a world away to compete in the Winter Olympics.

“Haitian jail is cool and all, but I was totally stoked to represent my country.”