Loser News

Well, I have deigned to acquiesce to popular opinion and name Mielke my replacement as the Unicor Warehouse Foreman of the Eon. It will be a bittersweet moment when Bret straps on my boots (both figuratively and literally, I left them under Mud Flap’s desk), grabs the keys, and destroys a trailer in my own unique fashion (though with far less panache, I deem).

Joe “Yo Skinny” McKinney will be playing the part of Rich this season as Greenie has gone on sabbatical to the Promised Land to critique the yogurt. To make the transition as smooth as possible, we hired two writers from The Young and The Restless to create an environment for our segue.  Thus, Rich will have been abducted by Space Amazons, who ravaged him, shaved him near bald, and left him on a deserted island with no memory of who he was or how he got there.

Hence, new Rich (McKinney) will need to relearn how to drive the truck (and wouldn’t it be interesting if he now preferred the Magnum?) and learn the three SAP transactions he had previously known. It should be mentioned that, for the role, McKinney has joined the Hair Club for Men and will subsist on a strict diet of raw vegetables and Ensure.