Loser News

Holy crap! I just had the most awesome idea ever had by anyone ever!!  I was watching a Superbowl food commercial (which totally irks me because advertisers use something as clean and virginal as proffessional sports to push their loathsome products) and happened to spy an air-brushed, non-edible rendition of a chili dog.  And then it happened…

There was an almost audible “pop”…well, I guess it was more like a “pfzzzz-p’toowee”, but in any case, it was an original thought (not like the ones you see on CNN or the SAG awards).  Chili dogs are nasty.  Chili is good, and hotdogs are good, but chili dogs are gut swelling death bombs.

So, I wondered what I could use as a substitutiary snack for my Superbowl enjoyment, and it hit me like a ton of feathers (which everybody knows is just as heavy as a ton of bricks, but a lot softer).

Soup-Burgers.

Delicious soup poured over an all-beef patty and whole wheat bun, and wrapped in a thin foil wrapper.  Yeah.  You know what I’m talking about.  That’s even better than a mayonnaise and sugar sandwich!