Well, Tom Depp, recent Dan’s drop-out and all around kiljoy, suggested today that my analysis of the four primary leg muscle groups was flawed, despite my not having asked his opinion.
I explained that the torgs, guats, quints, and glumps needed to be simultaneously stretched before running, utilizing reverse-hurdle compressions. Tom questioned not only my work out regimen, but the classifications of several muscles, though he consistently hyper-extends his quints and blames it on his shoes.
Luckily, Lance Armstrong’s physical trainer’s neighbor’s daughter has a website which we checked, and it didn’t say anything about torgs and glumps not being actual muscle groups.
Give it up, Tom. You’re out of your league.
Loser News 
Leave a comment