Loser News

Dear Santa,

I have been a very good boy this year.  I haven’t sent any video casettes to the media for quite some time, and I have refrained from bombing many infidels for several weeks.

Therefore, I demand that you bring me the following items in celebration of the birth of your infidel child god:

1) A katana, as seen on Kill Bill.

2) Three microwaveable food containers.  Preferably Tupperware*.

3) A shirt with the saying “I am with stupid” emblazoned on the front.

4) The head of Dick Cheney.

5) The Sisterhood of the Travelling Pants Video Compilation.

6) Cash.

7) A $15 itunes card.

8) Clone Wars Light-Saber Duel for Wii.