Loser News

Boo-yah, citizens!! Ya’ know, Lebron has a soft drink and Michael Jordan has a shoe…and underpants, but which NBA rising star has a new vehicle designed for your active (NBA) lifestyle?

That would be Rajon and his (Kia) Rondo, with its bold style, comfort, flexibility and spaciousness of an SUV (see he actually plays bigger than his 6’1, 171 lb. frame) , along with the precise (ball) handling and fuel efficiency (and can run up and down the court for prolonged periods, unlike Shaq) of a sedan, all at an affordable price (a bargain at $3,000,000 a season).

With features like a 4-cylinder (a tribute to his 4.2 rebounds per game) engine that delivers more standard horsepower than competitors Mazda5, Chevy HHR (or Kobe Bryant), the Rondo is fun to drive (down the lane, so you can dish off to Pierce or K.G., or maybe even Scalabrine if you’re winning by twenty).

In any case, the Rondo is a cheap and functional alternative to a true family car (or point guard).