Hey everybody!! This is Ted! Ya’ know, I just love killin’ things, but sometimes one of them liberal, tree hugging, tofu eating, rainbow coalition, free love, dope smoking, hippie folks comes up to me and says, “Ted, you shouldn’t kill things.” So, I tell them they shouldn’t support animal rights and abortion at the same time, and while they’re mulling that over, I hit them in the head with a bat and put them in the trunk of my car.
Good times.
Loser News 
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