Well if you’re like me, then you don’t like those Geico commercials.
On an unrelated topic, the summer travel season is at hand, thus I have decided to place my vast stockpile of travel knowledge at your disposal. Today’s topic will be on Air (pronounced “Ehr”) Travel (just sound that one out), specifically airplane travel.
Now, if you haven’t had the opportunity to enjoy the exhilerating sensation of blasting through the stratosphere in a tiny, restricting, poorly upholstered chair, eating a mini-serving of mini-pretzels, and sipping appreciatively at a Fresca while watching a movie you’d only rent on a dare, well then you haven’t lived, mon fraire.
But the most breathtaking moments of air travel are not found in the friendly skies, but rather on the hostile terrestrial outpost known as the “Air Port”. No other place in the world holds such a bizarre array of strangeosity and chaos as the hyper-active aircraft go-between. It is a cultural melting pot of carney-like wonder where death lurks around every cor…
…Okay, I just lost my train of thought. Eanna-day is ining-way…(I have to talk in code just in case Deanna starts reading over my shoulder). See, I took Friday off and evidently the world broke or something. How could I be so selfish? Anyway, so right in the middle of my awesomely entertaining blog entry, Deanna asks me if I ordered a new dumpster for the factory, to which I replied, “No. Was I supposed to?” And she says, “Yeah, somebody was supposed to do it Friday.”
DERF!! I wasn’t here Friday. Granted, I did have a few minutes before my plane ride to call Stevens Diposal and get a new dumpster, but I totally spaced it for some reason. Not sure why. Maybe it was because I WAS ON VACATION!! DOY!
Anyway, where was I? Okay, in La Puerta De Aire, peace only exists for those who bring it with them (providing it fits in the convenient overhead compartment or underneath the seat in front of you), and patience is nigh extinct in this driven sea of persistently perpetual strangers…
Loser News 
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