Loser News

So, Deanna comes in and says she has a “gaggle” of e-mails this morning.  I asked her how many that was in metric form.  Oddly, she didn’t know.  So, I decided that I would do a little investigating.

Now, assuming there are one thousand kilogaggles in a gaggle, it would be more productive to actually determine the containment capabilities of a kilogaggle in order to make a more precise measurment.  Webster states that a gaggle is a disorganized grouping, or a massing of geese not in flight.  Evidently, a group in flight is referred to as a skein.  I wish I’d have known that before we institutionalized Gramps, but I digress. 

Therefore, it must be assumed that the capacity of a gaggle is only consistent when ground based, though it could be argued that a gaggle of geese scaling Mt. Everest may be at a higher altitude than a skein travelling south for the winter, however this would be a philosophical debate rather than a scientific one. 

Now, the weight of genus anser generally ranges from 1.2 kg to 4.1 kg in weight, which averages out to 2.65 kg, and as the general tribe size ranges anywhere from six to thirty, a gaggle would have a mass averaging roughly 42.5 kgs. Thus, a gaggle of ground-based, electronic correspondence is actually equal to less than .005 percent of a cubic meter, or .425 grams. 

No wonder they can fit so much of that stuff in my computer!!  I know that was bugging you as much as me, so you’re welcome, and have a nice day.

Next week:  A buttload doth not a plethora make.