Loser News

I just got a return file and we aren’t getting the product back, but I’m supposed to process it anyway, even though we’ve been told not to do that!!  Man, I am at like the hugest cross roads of my life!  What am I going to do?!? 

Sure, I could just go ahead and do the paperwork and “pretend” that the product came back, but then I’d have to go on living that lie for the rest of my life.  I could refuse to do the return for reasons of moralistic integrity and suffer persecusion from my peers and supervisors until I retire or am forced out by the angry masses.  I could strategically lose the file, but I’m certain my conscience would get the best of me, and I’d crack after a few days and come clean about the whole deception. 

It’s a dilemma wrapped in a problem, immersed in an ocean of uncertainty, on a planet of incongruence, orbiting a star of confoundment.  If only there were…oh hey, it’s that Who Got The Hooch? song.  That is one fresh jam!  At least that’s what Gatewood, my old Air Force bunkie, would say.  Anyway, what was I talking about? 

Oh yeah, I don’t know how Britney’s going to stay out of the public eye if she keeps crashing her car into everything.  And that’s one to grow on.