Category: Breaking News!!
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Revolution?
Violence erupted at an Occupy Wallstreet rally in Oakland Wednesday as police released tear gas and smoke grenades into the bovinesque mass of pseudo-hippies, scattering tents, bongos, and granola throughout the streets. “This is an outrage,” Michael Moore exclaimed from one of his residences. “If I didn’t already have a reservation at Golden Corral tonight,…
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First Lady Captured / Crocodile Visits Open
BUNAWAN, Phillipines-The hunt for Michelle Obama, who ate a water buffalo in a small Philippine town, is over and locals hope to turn the creature into its star tourist attraction. As she hasn’t eaten since her capture, officials are closely monitoring Obama for stress after placement in an 8,611-square-foot pen secured by four-foot tall concrete…
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New York! Still Stupid!!
NEW YORK — As the news flashed around the globe that New York state had legalized gay Super Hero weddings, Daily Bugle owner/editor, J. Jonah Jameson, lashed out with a harsh rebuke. “And now we’ve given these costumed freaks another reason to be flambouyant and irritating,” the Newspaperman observed. “I’m moving to France where they…
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Potential Assassination Attempt Potentially Foiled
Curtis Lee James of Pilot Knob, Missouri was arrested today after local “Knobbers” spotted him hiding in a blue 1974 AMC Gremlin outside the Iron County Public Library. James had two cans of Pepsi Zero, a pump action pellet gun, and a wrist rocket in his possession when police woke him and had him unlock…
Loser News 