Category: Breaking News!!
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Michelle Obama Attacked By Dog as Klan Looks On
WASHINGTON, D.C.-The First Lady received an early Christmas suprise when Sunny, the Obamas’ new canine family member, viciously attacked her and a young Whitehouse visitor during the yearly Christmas Tree lighting ceremony. Numerous guests witnessed the incident, including a group of Asian KKK members and the usual multicultural group of disinterested children. Sunny, a Portugeuse…
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NASA Tracks Bynes / Ammonia Leak Receives Probation
OUTER SPACE-NASA reports that astronauts on the International Space Station may take a spacewalk Saturday to repair an Amanda Bynes leak. The actress began oozing from the left side of the station’s truss structure Thursday, officials said. NASA reported that the crew was not in danger, and that the station is operating normally while crew…
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Possible Chemical Weapons Possibly Used
Today President Obama confirmed anonymous reports of the possible use of chemical weapons in Syria. “We are certain of the possibility that either the Syrian Government or insurgent fighters, or quite possibly an unknown faction, has possibly utilized possible chemical weapons against their adversaries, or quite possibly themselves,” the President advised. “In any case, I…
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Doing It For The Kids
From behind a human shield of strategically placed multicultural children, President Obama addressed an emotionally torn country about the hazards of not following policies put forth by eight year olds. A visibly indifferent Hinna Zeejah, one of seven Long Island residents who survived Hurricane Sandy, sent a powerful message to the Head of State, saying,…
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