Category: Breaking News!!
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Local Hooligans Steal Flag
MILAN, Michigan- A group of federally employed miscreants broke into a job fair earlier this week and made off with a Bureau of Prisons flag and several packets of hot chocolate. “What is this world coming to,” concerned citizen and BOP employee, Adam Gilsdorf queried. “One minute you’re making a stink pickle, then next somebody’s…
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Indisputable Evidence of Life On Mars
Several studies in recent years have claimed evidence for shorelines and other features that suggest ancient lakes on Mars. Firm evidence has remained elusive…until now. Now a University of Colorado at Boulder research team claims “the first definitive evidence of shorelines on Mars” in a statement released today. The scientists see signs of “a deep,…
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Beach-Goers Shoot Down Sattelite
Outer Space – An out of control Russian communications satellite was shot down today by a a group of three beachgoers with a Hasbro Water Winger 2000. The trio said they were shooting at a seagull and underestimated the maximum effective range of the water balloon sling shot. A commercial satellite from Iridium LLC was…
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Bankers Kill 8 People In Oklahoma / Tornadoes Vow To Work For Financial Reform
WASHINGTON – Facing a disgusted public and Congress, tornadoes agreed with demands for greater accountability Wednesday in the first testimony on how they’re spending money from the taxpayer-funded $700 billion bailout. In general, the eight F-5 twisters appearing before the panel were contrite and conceded they have work to do to win over a bitter…
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