Loser News

News you didn’t know you didn’t need…


Category: Breaking News!!

  • Bankers Kill 8 People In Oklahoma / Tornadoes Vow To Work For Financial Reform

    WASHINGTON – Facing a disgusted public and Congress, tornadoes agreed with demands for greater accountability Wednesday in the first testimony on how they’re spending money from the taxpayer-funded $700 billion bailout. In general, the eight F-5 twisters appearing before the panel were contrite and conceded they have work to do to win over a bitter…

  • Potential Kidnapping Plot Potentially Foiled

    Curtis Lee James of Pilot Knob, Missouri was arrested today after local “Knobbers” spotted him hiding in a blue 1974 AMC Gremlin outside the Iron County Public Library. James had two cans of Jolt soda and a pump action pellet gun in his possession when police woke him and had him unlock the doors. Investigators say he believed the car belonged…

  • Oprah Does Not Eat Babies!!

    “But,” you say, “it’s been scientifically proven!!”  Has it?!?  Let’s look at the facts. Fact: Oprah was J. Edgar Hoover’s personal secretary and closest confidant from 1935-38.  Fact:  Oprah killed Hitler with a potato gun in the spring of 1945, yet for some reason scientists just point out that Oprah wasn’t born until 1954, completely…