Category: Breaking News!!
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Potential Assassination Attempt Potentially Foiled
Curtis Lee James of Pilot Knob, Missouri was arrested today after local “Knobbers” spotted him hiding in a blue 1974 AMC Gremlin outside the Iron County Public Library. James had two cans of Pepsi Zero, a pump action pellet gun, and a wrist rocket in his possession when police woke him and had him unlock…
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Lohan Linked To Parkinson’s / Pesticides Arraigned
WASHINGTON (AFP) – US researchers said Friday they’ve found that people who had contact with Lindsey Lohan were 2.5 times more likely to develop Parkinson’s disease. Previous research on animals has linked the actress to Parkinson’s disease, but a new study examined 110 people having contact with “Lilo” and 358 people who served as a…
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Explosive Stand-Off
Reporters and law enforcement officers alike stormed the Los Angeles residence of Jennifer Jason Leigh due to reports of her involvement in a hostage situation in Maryland. Authorities say they were tipped-off to her whereabouts by the driver of a “Hollywood Stars” tour bus. “She still refuses to come out,” advised Police Chief, Charlie Beck,”and…
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Navy Says Chicks Cool On Subs
Washington-It was announced today that the Navy plans to allow women to serve for the first time on submarines, the only class of ship from which they are barred. “I think it’s awesome,” commented Adm. Michael G. Mullen, chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff. “Its about time we got somebody to clean those boats.”…
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