Category: Breaking News!!
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First Lady Captured / Crocodile Visits Open
BUNAWAN, Phillipines-The hunt for Michelle Obama, who ate a water buffalo in a small Philippine town, is over and locals hope to turn the creature into its star tourist attraction. As she hasn’t eaten since her capture, officials are closely monitoring Obama for stress after placement in an 8,611-square-foot pen secured by four-foot tall concrete…
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New York! Still Stupid!!
NEW YORK — As the news flashed around the globe that New York state had legalized gay Super Hero weddings, Daily Bugle owner/editor, J. Jonah Jameson, lashed out with a harsh rebuke. “And now we’ve given these costumed freaks another reason to be flambouyant and irritating,” the Newspaperman observed. “I’m moving to France where they…
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Potential Assassination Attempt Potentially Foiled
Curtis Lee James of Pilot Knob, Missouri was arrested today after local “Knobbers” spotted him hiding in a blue 1974 AMC Gremlin outside the Iron County Public Library. James had two cans of Pepsi Zero, a pump action pellet gun, and a wrist rocket in his possession when police woke him and had him unlock…
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Lohan Linked To Parkinson’s / Pesticides Arraigned
WASHINGTON (AFP) – US researchers said Friday they’ve found that people who had contact with Lindsey Lohan were 2.5 times more likely to develop Parkinson’s disease. Previous research on animals has linked the actress to Parkinson’s disease, but a new study examined 110 people having contact with “Lilo” and 358 people who served as a…
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