Loser News

The BBC reported a potentially riveting story, last week, of conceivably universal importance. Dr. Francois Fressin, of the Harvard-Smithsonian Center, advised that astronomers have detected the first Earth-sized planets, which are orbiting a star similar to our own Sun.

In the distant past they may have been able to support life and one of them may have had conditions similar to our own planet – but they now lie outside their star’s “habitable zone”.

They have described their findings as the most important planets ever discovered outside of our Solar System.

“We know that these two planets may have migrated closer to their Sun,” he told BBC News.”(The larger of the two) might have been an Earth twin in the past. It is almost the exact same size as Earth and in the past it could have had the same temperature.”

Dr. Fressin says that the planets’ composition may be similar to Earth’s with a third of it consisting of iron core and the remainder consisting of a silicate mantle. He also believes that the outer planet (Kepler 20f) may even have developed a thick, water vapour atmosphere.

Fressin went on to conclude that he may co-star with George Clooney in an upcoming movie, and that he may have been the secret concubine of Lurlinda, the Empress of Jupiter, for quite possibly, decades.