The ACLU has filed a class action suit against Open Door Christian Academy in Foley, AL, accusing the school of animal rights violations. The lawsuit, filed in the name of one “Peaches the Duck”, claims the two-week-old water fowl’s First Amendment rights were violated when the orphaned duckling was forced to live in a cardboard Zondervan box following it’s rescue from the wild.
“This is a akin to the Holocaust,” observed Olivia Turner, the ACLU’s Executive Director for Alabama. “When a living creature can be kidnapped and forced to sleep in a box full of Jesus cooties, something has to change!”
Elmadine Charles, acting Vice-Principal of the school denied allegations of any wrong-doing. “The kids just grabbed a box to put him in it before the raccoons got him. We didn’t think he’d mind.”
Representatives for PETA, the organization on the forefront of equality for animals, are already filing for custody of Peaches and several other school “mascots”, including an iguana named Spock who’s been forced to live near an American flag for the past two years.
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