Loser News

Boo-Yah, sports fans!! Scott Finley here with another installment of Losers’ Sports. 

FIFA World Cup action started today with Mexico facing host South Africa. The 1-1 tie left the world confused, violated, and dehydrated.  Luckily, it was already that way before the match started.

Next came France Vs. Uruguay (or “Your-A-Gay”, as I like to call it, although it loses its poignancy when France is involved because of their severe socialist gaywadiness).  Though neither team was able to score in the first half, Reuters reports that French Wing-Man, Franck Ribery (who looks WAY too much like Dr. Evil for my confort) has been scoring plenty off the field…though admittedly at a price.

U.S.A. begins it’s trek for the Cup tomorrow against England, and though we banished them from this soil, it may prove to be much more difficult to topple their limey regime in South Africa.

Spain is the favorite to win the international event, but as Pau Gasol is still mired in a potentially lengthy NBA Finals, he will not be available to participate in the first round which could prove distrastrous for the Spaniards.