Loser News

Hey everybody!! It’s me, Ted! And derned if I didn’t kill me a deer.

See, it was the last week of bow season, and the only guy I knew that got a buck was this sissy-loser-dork I work with, whom we’ll just call “Doug S”. Thus, I was quite distressed. Luckily, I found my quarry on the side of the road. He was bleating and missing the lower half of his body from a chance encounter with a motorist.

Well, I couldn’t just leave him there, so I leaned him up against my pick-up, and shot him with my bow. Five arrows later, I had me an eight point. Happy killin’, America!!