Category: Things Ron Doesn’t Get
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A Whale of a Tale…well, actually it’s not really a whale, but its like a mini-whale which is similar except whales actually eat these…
Ever since porpoises evolved from rhinoceroses, they’ve been hunted, killed, and teased with fish by the upstart species known as homo sapiens (pronounced: hoe-moe-say-pee-ins). Now this aquatic mammal is on the verge of extinction due to racial violence, illicit drug use, and iodine poisoning. However, numerous sources have come out of the wood work to…
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Infotainment News
In Idol news, twelve year old seventh season runner-up, David Archuleta correctly spelled the word “memoir”. “I always spelled it with a ‘w’ before,” the Jonas Brother wannabe mentioned at a K-Mart album signing. “Maybe my father will finally accept me now.”
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What Defrock?!?
You heard it first here, folks. Father Murphy has officially been defrocked. Though dead these past twelve years, he has evidently been carrying on his perverse aganda nonetheless. Catholics are irritated. “I think its against regulations, what he did,” remarked Leona Dimarco, parishoner of St. Steve’s in Alberta Canada. “But there’s so many rules, who…
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Bjorn Borg’s Critical Step-Aunt
Recently I was playing with my Philo Farnsworth action figure when the ever-familiar "Farnsworth Vs. Zworykin" controversy violently rebirthed in that gelatinous part of my brain where I think I lost that pencil. I mean, anybody who thinks Zworykin's iconoscope predates the inspiration of a fourteen year old Farnsworth's image transmitting brain child is a commie and…
Loser News 