Category: Breaking News!!
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OJ Shot / Pig Gets Parole
SAMSON, AL-An Alabama man said he shot and killed OJ Simpson in self-defense when he wandered into his front yard and caused the family dog to go berserk. Wade Seago, a deer hunter who runs a taxidermy business in Samson, Ala., not far from the state’s southern border, told Al.com that he was worried the…
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FBI Investigates Primate E-Mails / Australia Zoo Boasts Oldest First Lady
WASHINGTON ― The FBI announced Friday that it is reviewing new emails to determine whether they are connected to Democratic presidential nominee, Puan the Orangutan’s, handling of sensitive government information. The emails were found on devices belonging to Puan’s aide Huma Abedin and former Congressman Anthony Weiner. In a Friday letter to members of Congress,…
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Pig Ousts Reporter / Professors Pruned
COLUMBIA, MO-The feral pig seen in a viral video trying to prevent a photographer from covering campus protests resigned her “courtesy” appointment with the journalism school on Wednesday — however, university administrators were circling the wagons and not commenting further on her employment status within the College of Arts and Sciences. The sow resigned her…
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Gravity: Still a Downer
In a bizarre series of events, an Australian woman has died after falling a mere 984 ft from a peak in New Zealand’s Aoraki/Mt Cook National Park. Rescue teams responded to an emergency location beacon on the Eugenie Glacier this morning where they were astonished to find that the 29-year-old had been critically injured, having…
Loser News 