Loser News

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Tag: Poetry

  • Trite Fish

    And now, another work from renowned poet, Eldon Tubbs. Chained within thine chain- Linked fence of unrequited Solitude.  Drag forth yon filth of Babbar’s torrid forklift, in Hopes, nay in terror, of sucking Cylindrical gluts of grease and Cannabis clad petulant lampshades, Ironing e’er lime-green Lapels of Happenstance and hatred.

  • Frisky Kitten

    And now, another work from renowned poet, Eldon Tubbs. Fetid stench of death, smash relentless ‘Ponst my skull! Give me neither mercy Nor ibuprofen to quell my flashing agony. Would that I had purchased the optional Warranty…oh death, where is thy stick, For I cannot reach the bourbon in The back of the cupboard above…

  • Wayward Writhing Troll

    And now, another work from renowned poet, Eldon Tubbs.   Exuberant egotist, spawning ire With clever winks. Yet shrinks beneath Boxed boobs and blondeness, clutch- Ing cash twixt fattened fingers. Trading teeth for toys, and scolding Beauty beneath thine harlot’s Lurking leer.

  • Prepubescent Phoenix

    And now, another work from renowned poet, Eldon Tubbs.   Beveled crystalline hatred dragging, Faltering fury, dismantling beaks And shackles in vain, to dwell in Pouring haze and hissing rain. Lies of lumps massaged despite Obnoxious insecurities, prolonged Discomforts linger still As Hippocratic felonies.