Category: Breaking News!!
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Explosive Stand-Off
Reporters and law enforcement officers alike stormed the Los Angeles residence of Jennifer Jason Leigh due to reports of her involvement in a hostage situation in Maryland. Authorities say they were tipped-off to her whereabouts by the driver of a “Hollywood Stars” tour bus. “She still refuses to come out,” advised Police Chief, Charlie Beck,”and…
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Navy Says Chicks Cool On Subs
Washington-It was announced today that the Navy plans to allow women to serve for the first time on submarines, the only class of ship from which they are barred. “I think it’s awesome,” commented Adm. Michael G. Mullen, chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff. “Its about time we got somebody to clean those boats.”…
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Kidnappers Capture Gold / White Falls Short Of Cuba
MIAMI – Shaun White landed in Miami early Thursday, drawing gasps from the crowd nearly three weeks after launching the gravity-defying new trick called “Coast 2 Coast”. “I put down the tricks I’ve worked so hard on,” said White, who was pushed to perfect his newest move after losing out in a competition to compatriot…
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Local Hooligans Steal Flag
MILAN, Michigan- A group of federally employed miscreants broke into a job fair earlier this week and made off with a Bureau of Prisons flag and several packets of hot chocolate. “What is this world coming to,” concerned citizen and BOP employee, Adam Gilsdorf queried. “One minute you’re making a stink pickle, then next somebody’s…
Loser News 