Category: Articles Becky Won’t Let Her Kids Read
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Panetta Says Chicks Cool In Combat
Defense Secretary Leon Panetta will lift a longstanding ban on women serving in combat, according to senior defense officials. The services have until this May to come up with a plan to implement the changes, which consist of regulations for mandatory armpit hair and stylish new uniforms (as seen at left) to deter incidents of…
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Effective Hassling Techniques – With “The Man”
Hi-ho, chums. It’s me, “The Man”. Now, a number of you have contacted me on my cellular telephone or over the World Wide Internet asking how to apply my hassling techniques in your everyday lives. In truth, effective hassling is not just a set of gimmicks to get people to do what you want. Rather,…
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America’s Marginally Wanted
The FBI added another suspect to its most wanted list earlier today, alerting the public that he was armed, possibly dangerous, probably unstable, and definitely lactose intolerant. The man (pictured at right), known as Sheik Shaggy Von Brady, is currently being sought for questioning, and probably elimination, by US agencies, Interpol, the KGB, the NRA,…
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Problematic Poopers
We got new toilets, America! That’s right, we can now process our food and drink with the confidence that only a Kohler commode bestows. Unfortunately, this leaves me with a vexing duo of conundrums, namely “used toilets”. Now being the thrifty shopper that I am, I was sure there was some charity out there that…
Loser News 