Category: Things Ron Doesn’t Get
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The Bare Necessities
The other day, while I was going to Tecumseh to see J-Rod's baseball game, I saw a used Bobcat 331 Excavator for sale on the side of the road, and it made me realize just how empty my life was because I didn't have one. I mean, how have I been surviving without my own personal mini-bulldozer? I was still shoveling…
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Deke on Deke…
Deke is an extremely complex simpleton. He’s clean, but has a distinct odor. He looks sort of like like Jesse James, but doesn’t know exactly who that is. He constantly amazes himself. Deke is the “every man”… providing the every man is afraid of lobsters and has a nervous tick he passes off as a dance…
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The New “New Guy”
Hey everybody, it’s Ron again, and I’d like to know why the newest new guy at the Warehouse has to be such a jerk?!? Yesterday, he totally yelled at a steam fitter and threatened to beat him over the head with a bag full of prescription pain killers. Then he dropped about a dozen F-bombs when…
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I’m joining a cult!!
That’s right, I’m joining the Snuggies! They’re totally new, and they all wear these awesome cloaks for all of their ritual killings and dog sacrifices. It only costs $19.95 to join, and you get your own cloak which comes in three awesome colors. I think I’ll get sage green. Judging by their recruitment video, you…
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