Loser News

News you didn’t know you didn’t need…

Category: Health & Fitness

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    NCAARP

    Are you a senior citizen in marginal health with two or more years of college level athletic eligibility? If so, you may still have some value in society. Recently, the NCAA and AARP formed a partnership to ensure educational and athletic opportunities to people fifty years and older, who have not played four or more…

  • Ask Dr. Baddadvaisz

    Dear Dr. Baddadvaisz, I’m a Prepper, and I’ve planned for almost every disaster known to man. The only thing I haven’t figured out is what to do with all the bodies of dead, stupid people that weren’t as prepared as me, so they don’t stink up the world and make us survivors sick. Any suggestions?…

  • The Cee-Lo Low C Diet

    Hey y’all. It’s me, Cee-Lo Green, and I’d like to talk to you about the very serious problem of weight loss. You know, people always tell me to get my vitamin C, so I googled it and guess what I found out. Vitamin C is an acid. Acid is in Compound W. Compound W burns…

  • Dear Toby Keith…

    Dear Toby Keith, Hey my man!! I went to your bar and grill in Cucamonga last night and your tequila was crap! That fat girl in the tight shorts and boots said it was Cuervo but it was probably some TJ Swann brand crap. You suck Toby!! And the tater skins sucked too and you…